The Selfie Syndrome

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By Feroz Qadri

 

According to the Oxford English dictionary, the term selfie refers to ‘A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website’. Simple enough, yes. But here I will discuss the intricacies of the selfie syndrome; the wave of narcissism and YOLOing that has consumed our generation. From Oscar host Ellen Degeneres and her possy, to biker boys one-wheeling in liberty, people all over the world seem to be hooked on to this phenomenon.

Let us first look at selfies in terms of practicality. What if all ten friends insist on being in the picture? Fair enough. Selfie zindabad. This is justified not only in terms of practicality but also in terms of social acceptability. But when a single loner, sitting idly decides to take a selfie, things become incredibly, utterly sad. The adjusting of a fat face to show off a nonexistent jaw line, twisting a bulbous blob of a nose for a narrower version, a shockingly sleazy pouty lip that really no one finds attractive; these are all contrived versions of ourselves that do not even exist.

The point of a selfie is to make it seem as though it was a natural and spontaneous take, yet ironically it is the most contrived of portraits. What is interesting to note is that even the ugliest of selfies have been carefully and meticulously planned to the tee. There is not an iota of naturalness or candidness in these takes. The ones below are examples:

An otherwise handsome and perfectly symmetrical-faced Sheru looking cross eyed and slightly constipated.

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A forlorn looking Feroz looking off into the distance searchingly with an open-mouthed Tyra Banks pout that looks downright gay.

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A suited booted Musti raises his eyebrows for a bit of swag perhaps. Going for a smooth look, he accidentally ends up with a constipated one.

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20 responses »

  1. Aahahahah do sheru and musti know how they have been victimized? hahahaha. Though i wholeheartedly agree that selfies are nothing but self propagation – especially as how one perceives oneself or what one hopes to be. Be confident with who you are and what you are. Not what you should or wish you could be. Its just another self-indulgent craze feeding the human ego. Like facebook or any other new social network.

  2. They should’ve totally done the duckface. Haha.
    Love the use of male selfies instead of girl ones for a change.

    Well done.

  3. Hahaha vanity at its worst. But the bigger problem for me is that it is now so acceptable. Pictures are for making memories. Making constipated expressions like the ones above makes one suspicious of just what it is that one is trying to remember.

  4. The captioned pictures supporting the article are downright priceless. Though I believe a selfie is the most naked form of self-expression (which says a lot about these boys). It is a contrived representation of the self, but a representation nonetheless.

  5. Hahahahaha I completely agree with zahaid. The true essence of photographs and albums has been lost. It seems to me that there is no room for memory, nostalgia and spontaneity anymore.

  6. First of all thank you so much for putting up Mustys picture, He looks “pretty” handsome. Moreover The ‘selfie syndrome’ as it has come to be known, is a new phrase that has been given to a vast and ever so trending population of individuals who are getting a bit too carried away with the self portrait postings on social media platforms phenomenon like Facebook, Twitter etc.Humans using Facebook, Twitter or Instagram are looking for the most attention they can possibly render. 30% of the Psychologist say selfies aren’t all bad, and can be healthy, to a point so ill live my life with that and keep on taking more and more selfies.
    Ellen’s Oscar selfie got the highest hits ever that any other picture has ever gotten and I’m sure all the people who liked it aren’t going through any sort of mental disorder.

  7. I really love your take on selfies Mr.Qadri.

    However, i would just like to add that selfies can be a positive boost to self-esteem as long as they’re done in moderation.

    Overall, a decent job.

  8. Not at all well written.The writer has used the pictures without the subjects consent for which the subject will be seeing him in court soon.with that being said if you
    think the guy in the yellow shirt was cute.you can reach him at thatguyinyellow@hotmale.com

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